1. You’re no longer that girl who’s always complaining about her crappy relationship and why it’s just not what she wants and blah, blah, blah. Everyone (lovingly) hates this girl and if you look back on your life, you hated when you were this girl too. Freedom from being that girl is priceless.
2. You can go to the movies whenever you want without having to check with another person. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great having someone to go to the movies with but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought, Oooh, I want to go to the movies and there’s a movie we’ve both wanted to see playing in 20 minutes! But I’m not sure if Dave can get there in 20, or what if he’s still at work or doing laundry or doesn’t feel like it. I guess I’ll wait. Guess what? Eff that. You can just goooo.
3. You can go to your favorite restaurant again without having to listen to him mock how weird the wall art is in there. How do I deal with it? Oh, I don’t know, I guess I just focus on my burrito and how good it is without thinking about why the tapestries don’t really “go with the vibe.”
4. You can actually go out with that guy you secretly had a crush on. You know, the non-idiot you spent all your time thinking about when you were with your boyfriend who was an idiot.
5. You can go out with your girlfriends and have no idea where you guys will end up at the end of the night. As opposed to knowing the night will probably end with a fight with your dumb boyfriend who you don’t even like that much anymore.
6. You don’t have to pretend to like their crazy mom anymore. Another bonus? You can admit their mom was totally crazy and that she always seemed to call him during sex was spooky as hell.
7. You get the whole damn bed. With, yes, five pillows because pillows are great and boys do not get this.
8. You’ll actually get some sleep instead of spending the whole night trying not to let his snoring or constant turning make you want to push him off your bed and out the window. This is made even worse when he’s emotionally distant or some crap, and then you can’t even justify his annoying qualities with “but I love him so it’s OK.” It’s just straight-up not OK and also you’re not sleeping. You will not miss that now that it is gone.
9. You don’t have to worry if anyone besides you is having fun at your friends’ weddings. Or birthday parties. Or office parties. You can just get drunk and eat cake and dance to whatever songs you want to dance to, and peace out when you please.
10. Chocolate for breakfast? Yes, please, I am grieving or whatever. Any excuse I can get to eat chocolate for most of my meals while not moving, I’ll take it. The level of actual emotional pain does not matter.
11. You can stop defending your partner’s ridiculous antics to your friends. “No, no, he has really good sides, too, I swear. He was just ____” can now officially leave your vocabulary for life.
12. You can spend time with your single friends without making them feel like a third wheel because your boyfriend is coming with you. Though to be fair, you might now be the third wheel with other couples, but still.
13. You can finally join the online dating sites your single friends are always talking about. What is Bumble? Oh, you’re about to find out.